April 1st 2020 was one of the best April Fool’s Days I think we will ever have. This was the day that we closed on our new farm in Ewing, Kentucky. In the middle of a global pandemic, we bought a 4 acre property that sits in between a rushing creek and an old railroad track!
At the time that we were notified that we were actually moving forward, it was soon after I injured my hamstring and we were freshly going into this new normal of “social distancing”. I have to admit that, initially, I was not too excited for the news. We had been in the process of buying the property since Christmas, and we had basically resigned to the fact that it was never going to happen. There was so much back and forth about the value of the home versus the loan being approved and we did not even know if we would be given a loan.
Perriee and I have a great way of altering our long term plans, based on the current goings-on of life. We already had about 3 different ideas of what to do if we did NOT get the house and we were getting excited about it. We then we got the call, a week after working from home full-time due to a pandemic, that we were about to buy a second home. Everything was so uncertain. We both felt like our jobs were secure, but I just could not imagine a bank being willing to move forward with a loan for a second home. But they were ready, so we leaned in.
We both took the day off once we confirmed that we would not be doing the closing remotely. I sent a quick email prior to the day, just to make sure that we would at least be doing the social distance thing. Our mortgage lender was already on it. The seller was scheduled to get there after us, in order to stagger our exposure to one another, which really made me feel better since he is in the “mature” stage of life. When we got there, we called from the parking lot so we could be let into the bank. The lobby had already been closed to foot traffic. Our lender’s office had a folding table set up at the end of her desk to increase the space between us and her. It was super creative! We brought our own pens, but she had some throwaways ready for us. We brought masks with us, but we ended up not wearing them. It was April 1st and we did not want to be the weirdos, even though I wanted to wear it. The last thing I wanted was for us to potentially be the ones to bring coronavirus to Flemingsburg, Kentucky.
After signing our paperwork, Marcus, the seller, arrived and was set up in a totally different office than us to sign his paperwork for the sale. I chatted with our realtor for a few minutes when she stopped in for some last minute signatures and it was hard to not hug her for sticking with us through the process! When Marcus was done, he gave us a key to the house. He told me that this day was hard for him- it was the day he sold his childhood home as a final chapter to his parents’ lives. It was special to be the ones to be on the receiving end of that day, since Perriee and I have the best intentions to do that property justice in its rejuvenation. We tried to communicate that to him on more than one occasion. As we were leaving, he told us he wanted to show us something about the water over at the house that was just repaired, so he met us over there to give us the rest of the keys.
Marcus was our first guest at the house. He stopped over from his brother’s house (from across the tracks) when he saw us pull up the driveway, gave us the rest of the keys, and kindly showed us where the water meter was (which happens to be on the other side of the creek). He did not need to do that, but he did. He also shared that he was happy that we were the ones who bought the house, as opposed to another family from out of town. That was super special to hear as our initial “welcome to the neighborhood”.
The grass was freshly mowed, and we took a quick tour of the house, before heading back home. We totally had a jumping up and down and hollering moment, then Marcus came back to ask about the electric bill (I had already set it up to be transferred). I wonder if he heard us celebrating! I hope if he did, he found it comforting.
It has been a little more than a month since we closed and we are so excited to be sharing this next chapter of life with all of you. Each time we go we love it more and more and have already interacted with such wonderful people. The feelings we get there are already so warm a fuzzy.
Homework: Be Flexible
I have heard that our perceptions of difficult situations is really what allows us to be happy in life. We can’t wait for perfection because I am afraid it will never come. Lean in to whatever is happening at the moment and find the way to make it the best. We love getting excited about things, and during this process we got excited about getting this house, then excited about not getting it, only to be stoked to be cleaning it up and getting ready for the first renovation projects after we got the keys. I know I am preaching to the choir, but nothing in life is predictable; go with the flow, and learn to love the free fall (credit to Karen Kilgariff’s therapist for a similar explanation of life).
March 14th, 2020: No surprises here about the main topic of this post. I feel absolutely obliged to share our experience thus far, living in this apocalyptic time (ok,slight exaggeration); the time of the Novel Coronavirus in the United States! Specifically, I will share what it is like in Northern Kentucky, USA. During my recent hours perusing Twitter, I ran across a couple of posts that suggested the importance of journaling during the pandemic. Years from now, it is going to be invaluable to look back at these times and see how we survived all of this. Why not throw my hat in the ring too?
This is so extra interesting since this weekend is our first weekend totally at home, alone, without any plans or obligations. We moved away from Indiana two weeks ago and my family from Cleveland was here last weekend to celebrate the 30th birthday of my baby brother. It is just us.
The week as a whole has been remarkable.
On Tuesday, March 10th, we had plans to go see Steve Aoki at Bogarts, a small-ish venue, over the river in Cincinnati. We planned on taking off the following day and scheduled a couples massage to use up a gift card that we received as a wedding gift almost three and half years ago! The news about “social-distancing” had just been ramping up, but this show- Aoki, was a total bucket-list event. We were excited to go!
It was an absolute joy and did not disappoint, but let me tell you, I began questioning our choice to be there when I witnessed a member of one of the opening acts spray down the first few rows of the audience with a water bottle that I am quite certain he had been drinking out of! We are hand washers, but every time we hit up the potty it felt extra important to give it a little extra scrub and I was notably nervous when a drunk girl splashed her water all over me as she stumbled by. I might have been a bit more confident if it had been alcohol.
Wednesday, March 11: The next day, we survived (and really enjoyed) our first massages. Oh, the irony of a lifetime of avoidance of having strangers touch us, only to sign up for sixty minutes of corporal relief, on the day that the World Health Org declared the new virus to be a pandemic. It was really nice. We picked up some takeout at a favorite Thai restaurant and enjoyed the rest of the day, trying to lay low in the house.
Thursday-Friday (12, 13): I worked from home on Thursday and was back in the office on Friday. On my way out, my boss caught me to say I should pack up as if I will not be back for a while and I went home. The day at the office was ominous, and you could hear murmurs of conversations about the virus here and there. Everyone seemed to have their head on a swivel and we had started getting recommendations about meeting sizes and preliminary precautions via our email and intranet.
Saturday, March 14th: We woke up and vacuumed out the car and dusted it off. The ducks got fresh pools, and then we hunkered down for the rest of the day and watched the rain from the basement.
And it continues…
Sunday, March 15th: By the afternoon, we received the text message from the boss that we would not be returning to work. The governor of Ohio announced all bars and restaurants would be closing, except for takeout. The governor of Kentucky decided not to close them, as long as people continued to maintain their distance from one another. The leadership from the governors of the two states right now has been so comforting. I cannot imagine the disaster we would be stewing in if the last governer of Kentucky was still in office. Just last week, Bevin, the previous governor of Kentucky, posted a message on Twitter, implying that everyone is overreacting to the pandemic. We are so much better off than we can even imagine. Perriee and I watched the movie, Outbreak and then the democratic debate. We fell asleep watching the two old white men fighting over the future of the American people in a room with no audience. Everything was normal, yet forever changed.
Monday, March 16th: It was my first official day of working from home. I had an infected toe due to an ingrown nail that I had tried to extract. When I called my doctor’s office to request an appointment, they directed me to the online portal where I could only be seen via a tele-medicine/electronic visit. There would be no more visits to the office for now. I took a couple of pics of my toe, and attempted to conduct an e-visit to make sure my toe would not need to be amputated. Again, exaggerating, but I am always feeling a day away from diabetic, so you cannot be too careful.
My sister asked if she could come visit us before we were not allowed to leave the house anymore. Of course I wanted her to come, and she did, but don’t think I wasn’t just a touch nervous to have her in. We watched the government order us to not meet in groups greater than 10. It was 50 just earlier in the day. I made some food while we visited, and we talked about our worst case scenario plans. What happens if we lose contact with one another? What are our end of life wishes? All things that are extreme, yet so perfect to know…just in case.
Perriee and I went for a walk to get out in the fresh air for a bit. Aldi, across the street was our destination. I just wanted to see what it looked like. There was almost no meat, no paper products, and they were set to close two hours early in order to stock up. The vulnerable folks shopping were extra identifiable. Following our walk through the grocery, we went to Burlington next door. There was one family shopping and us. I picked up a new pair of sweatpants to supplement my new work attire- they are “Nasa” pants! The cashier dutifully sanitized her hands before checking us out and I watched her hands the entire time. After we got back home, I tore the tag off the pants, we wiped our phones off with a sani-wipe, and washed our hands- exactly in that order.
Our neighbor, the best baker in Newport, texted us about some cake she made for St. Patrick’s Day- Irish Poke Cake and joked as to whether we would like some before we are forced to quarantine. Perriee went over to get a piece for us. I begged her not to hug them and she reported back that she threw out her elbow for a tap to thwart a hug from one of them. Minutes before she left to go, I was wondering aloud about how my ex-husband’s family was doing in Italy. When the chance came up to get some cake, I asked her to see if they had heard from them. Perriee said they were at least active on Facebook that day and there was no indication that anything was too bad. The cake was amazing.
Tuesday, March 17th: I woke up with P and got my day started with some writing and some light weight lifting. We had a team meeting where my boss told us that we would likely be home working for at least 8 weeks. Hearing that left me broken out in chills! At one point, I went outside to check on the ducks to find two of them in the neighbors’ yard. Dayz and Nick, of course, the two flyers and also the most skittish of the four. I was able to catch Nick pretty easily and toss him over the fence. As I was dodging multiple piles of poo and a garden snake that was lurking in the grass, my Birkenstock slid on the grass and my leg went in the exact wrong direction! I felt my hamstring pull in a way that I knew would haunt me for ages.
Luckily, my neighbor was able to call her husband to help me catch her and he and his employee helped me get the ducks inside and locked up for the rest of the day. I know she cares about me, but I could feel the reluctance to come near me in this new age of, “social distancing” . I am fucked. Having already called the doctor about a stupid toenail, I knew there was no need to go anywhere. I managed to get my ass back in the house, got some ice, and took some ibuprofen to finish the day.
Later in the evening we received an email that the house in Kentucky was going to closing. Yes, we are happy about it, but this world does not leave us hopeful for the immediate future. We caught up on the up-to- date orders from local government regarding the closures, went to get some wine and liquor as well as some prescription cat food for the guys. While in the store, we saw a super nervous looking woman with a bandana around her mouth shopping with her partner for booze. Me limping around, I was worried that someone would ask if I was sick. Nope- just really broken. At least I can walk. I googled the symptoms of a bad hamstring tear and am hoping it is just bad enough to not need medical attention. At least I can walk.
Wednesday, March 18: I was happy to wake up and not be unable to walk. It still hurts pretty bad, but I was able to get relatively comfortable sitting in the chair with a frozen water bottle under my thigh. The ducks were grounded for most of the day since it is clear that two people are needed for catching escapees, and it isn’t fair to put that on the neighbors.
Work was busy, trying to finish a project prior to a deadline this Friday. I had the pleasure of watching the president spew racist nonsense at the press conference today about the “Chinese virus” and how we could have prevented so much, if only he had known sooner! Rand Paul threw a wrench in the relief package. Ohio is closing down salons, so Perriee’s mom is now unemployed.
The Terminix guy came to look at our damage to the deck steps and gave me a quote of 1500 dollars to treat, in addition to 200 for something else that I don’t remember. Did I mention the termite damage we found on our deck? I know he said it was safe for pets, including the birds, and I believed him when he told me he grew up on a farm. They will be back Monday to treat, which might also be the day we close on the house, if we don’t get postponed because of the virus. He indicated that they might be closing down soon, so I did not want to chance it by putting it off any longer than necessary. I am glad I had him come and am hoping our relief money can be used to pay for this. At least we have credit. He came in the house and sat across from me to write up the bill and had me sign with my finger on his tablet. We are all doomed.
Earlier in the day, I ran (well, limped) to the bank, in order to get the check we need to secure the home owener’s insurance at the Ewing home. I went through the drive through and the guy informed me that there would be no more lobby transactions after today. The world is shutting down.
Both hospitals where Perriee and my sister work at had their first Covid patients admitted today. The doctors’ lounge is still hopping, with their new gourmet grab-and-go menu, which consists of quinoa bowls, quiche, pizza, chicken tenders, oh and salad and wraps too. I thought they would be getting sandwiches and salad. They are going to be earning it. As much as I want her home with me, it feels good to know we have that safety net, for however long it lasts.
Her mom is sout of work after today since she works at a nail salon, and we talked about how she will of course, live here if needed. Turns out, her mom is such a bad ass that she is totally fine for now, living at home and chilling without the job. She get social security and said the job was for extra money. We have her back if needed. I’ll finish my wine and go to sleep and see what tomorrow brings. Surely it will be more sickness and death, but hopefully also a couple of more videos of the beauty of humanity sharing tender moments on the internet.
Thursday, March 19th: The biggest news out of Washington was about how much and who will be getting relief checks in the coming days. The latest suggestion would be for people making less than 75k to get a $1200 check. We are in, which is great since that will allow us to pay the Terminix bill that has gone on the credit card for now.
I snuck into work first thing to get my plants off of my desk and snag a monitor stand. I hope to get back in after the weekend to grab a monitor. I need a screwdriver to take it off of the arm, and I didn’t have one at the ready. There was no one to ask. There was no one there. I sort of wanted to get out without seeing anybody. I had a bit of a sniffle and sore throat so did not want to be pinned as patient zero. As I was getting on the elevator to leave, I heard a toilet flush- ok there was someone. One.
My work garden.
Texting has become the new lifeline. My sister and friend from high-school have been keeping in touch. We all acknowledged how lucky we are at the moment to have the jobs we have. Before dinner, I googled some physical therapy exercises to do for my hamstring. I found a series that I will be doing daily for the next four to six weeks. When I did one in particular, where I laid on my stomach to do curls, I realized the gravity of the situation. I could not curl. I could raise my toes up off of the floor about two inches. This is real and terrifying. I had a good cry and Perriee reminded me that this is how it was when I did my shoulder rehab after a scooter accident, years ago. Slow and steady, right?
After the news, we sat on the front porch for a bit. We waved to the neighbor, who just days ago was going in for a hug. Now he waved back from across the street. I texted him that we would likely be seeing more of one another in the coming weeks. He acknowledged, and included that it would be from our respective porches, because, social distancing. Things move fast these days.
Before bed, as seems to be the new routine, I put on the address from Andy Beshear to see what the Kentucky updates were for the day. He has started a great routine of showing posts of Kentuckians doing their best to keep us all safe in these uncertain times. His calm and encouraging, yet cautious demeanor is so comforting. I don’t know if I have said it before, but we are so lucky to have the leadership that we have from Kentucky and Ohio right now. Washington is necessary, but not where I get encouragement. The president will not stop his self-serving behavior during this time. He is not capable.
Friday, March 20: I usually write about the previous day the following day. I feel like I missed a day somewhere. Very possible these days. It is Friday and we are hanging in the house. I am currently sitting in what may be our future family Skype spot. I just got off the Skype with dad. He suggested it earlier this evening on our family chat so Perriee and I practiced with my brother, then I talked to dad.
His job closed today. His sanity stems from the fact that his house is paid for and he doesn’t have a car payment right now. He worked at a limo company and is fine to apply for some unemployment and ride this out. We recapped the amazing day of family text messages, including dad’s rendition of his “pet cat”, which was drawn on a piece of paper and shooed off the table, to be found by the front door, “gazing out”. We brainstormed YouTube channels he could start. The best idea we came up with was a beginner morse code class. I had my first lesson tonight. “BA”. da..dit…dit..dit..di da? Ill study.
Our CEO announced that anyone off of work for Covid would be paid 8 weeks. The governor of Kentucky announced that our bourbon distilleries will be making hand sanitizer. Governor Dewine is closing senior centers, but leaving non-essential business open for now. I have a coworker who cried over that announcement due to a medical procedure that will take place tomorrow because of it.
I saw online or on the news that Christmas lights are being hung up to help cheer the air, so Perriee and I hung some up this evening. We went to the liquor store after picking up some duck food at Tractor Supply and she immediately felt like she should have bought more after watching folks really stocking up today. After dinner, I put on my slip on, rubber soled, red cowboy boots and went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was chilly and felt amazing to move, albeit slow as fuck.
Our pandemic lights.
Still no word from the bank about the house and that is fine. I am hoping they will close before we can close. Perriee called her friend in Georgia and she shared some stories of nursing from the front line. She said we would all likely be on some sort of lockdown in a few days. She really said a couple of days. I didn’t tell dad that. I texted her my sister’s phone number, who is going to need all of the lifelines possible in the coming days.
Saturday, March 21: The new closures in Ohio yesterday included adult day services for the disabled and the governor dealt his first nasty hand by proclaiming that abortion services will be bucketed in non-essential medical procedures bucket. Now is not the time to be pregnant against your will.
I did my physical therapy exercises and took a slow walk around the neighborhood. Perriee and I spent the day outside looking for the entry point to the digging animal in the duck run. We came to realize they are likely running into the run and sneaking in to hide under their house. We lifted up the floor and flushed out some mice. The hardware cloth that we installed seems to be helping to keep them from getting in the house, however. It was the most I had been on my feet in days, and I was certainly tired after we finished.
After a shower, we went to Aldi for a few things. We came home, had some food, and joined the family for our first group Skype. It was nice to see everyone (and everyone’s cats, including dad’s!).
Sunday, March 22: I drove down to downtown Newport yesterday to take my daily walk. It was eerie to see all of the businesses’ signs in their windows regarding current closures. One of the most memorable moments was coming across a medical mask in the middle of a parking lot. It was actually sad to see it there, such a precious item in the middle of all of this.
After, I went to Lowes to get some soil and small pots for our little basement garden that we are working on. It was getting increasingly busy as I shopped and I checked out in the garden center. My reasoning for being in the garden center was because it was in the open air, at least. They had marks on the ground to separate customers as they waited in line. The visibly nervous woman checking me out sprayed lysol on the credit card machine in between customers. The fact that there was not time for the lysol to dry made me wonder if it was even working. She was calling for a new can and the response from her radio was to continue checking people out in spite of her running low.
Victory gardening
The local liquor store updated their procedures since we were last there. A man with a clipboard approached my car as I parked the car. I was taken aback initially because I did not know he worked for the store. Their new policy is to text your order with your credit card information to inside of the store. I was a little frazzled by the process also because the man kept calling me sweetie and honey (in response to me asking if they had Jim Beam Honey). I started to place an order, then realized how stupid it would be to text my credit card information to potentially desperate people who would be in need of money in the event that they were laid off. No thanks. This is not the time.
I went to Kroger instead. The Ohio governor announced an order to stay at home and the Kentucky governor basically echoed the same, except for an official order. All non essential businesses will be closed in both states after today. Our next time shopping at Lowes will be a delivery.
Thursday, March 26th: I finally went to the orthopedic urgent care to have my hamstring evaluated. It felt like i re-injured it the other day while trying to help out in the yard, when my foot slipped quickly on the ground while trying to help with the duck chores. The pain literally brought me to my knees. I called the orthopedic urgent care and made my trip to the office. I was the only patient there at the time that I arrived. They took my temperature in the lobby and instructed me to remain behind the taped line on the floor. Every station I stopped at, there was tape and lots of gloves, sanitary wipes, and sanitizer.
The doctor was awesome and told me what I expected- that I had torn my hamstring and that it was reprable without surgery. That was the good news. Pre-coronavirus, she said, I would be doing vigorous physical therapy. That isnt happening right now. I was handed a printout with exercises on it and told that Iw ould be contacted to begin virtual therapy in the future. She asked if I had someone at home and gave me a ten second demo of the massage she can help me with. My wife is now a massage therapist. We will all have new certifications when this is over.
Yesterday, Perriee informed me that her coworker’s wife has been tested for the virus. It is getting closer and closer by the day. It sounds like she might be ok, but one day soon, we will all feel it.
The president makes me angry but I listen in to keep abreast to what we are dealing with. If it wasn’t for Dewine and Beshear right now, I would feel totally helpless.
Sunday, March 29, 2020: Wayne died yesterday. He passed peacefully at home with his mommy, my sister, after 18 years of kittieness. This is just all so sad. Even though the virus has not specifically affected any of our lives as of yet, the side effects of the pandemic have been nothing short of tough. In any other circumstance, we would have hopped in the car to go be with her during such an awful time. Not now.
Instead, we cried on the phone together and made plans to meet at a McDonalds parking lot to talk and reminisce together. Two of us drove separately from the Cincinnati area and met my sister who came in from Louisville. We stood in our respective corners and talked from an uncomfortable distance. The drive through was hopping, the cold wind was blowing, and the sun was shining.
Perriee and I are prepping for our closing on Wednesday. They told us we would be signing inside the bank and I do not feel good about it at all. We will be bringing our own pens and will not be touching anyone.
We worked on some garden beds yesterday in the backyard and planted some seeds, mint, and one lone cabbage. The ducks were annoyed that we were not sharing more, so I made sure to put some scoops of dirt out here and there to keep them off my back.
Our indoor plants are kickin ass and I cannot wait to make a spot at the new place for them as well. We don’t have a lot of room for things like cabbages in our city yard, so it will be nice to give it a go out there.
I made Pandemic Pie with a couple of June’s delicious eggs. Our neighbors are feeding us. One neighbor gave us cookies and another delivered a whole dinner of smoked meat, greens, cornbread and brownies. We are blessed.
Tuesday, March 31st: It seems that the abnormal is becoming normal. It is normal to work at home, normal to take a walk each day, and normal to watch the governors give their nightly address. We watch the numbers roll in like the medal count of the Olympics. The USA is winning at the moment. We may just take the gold.
I went to the bank to get the check for the downpayment on the house. The closing is tomorrow. Afterward, I took a walk down by the levy. I saw about three people there. It has never been so empty. The world is closed. My leg felt the best since the day I injured it, so, there’s that. My overall step count leaves a lot to be desired, but the cadence at which I could move pleased me!
It is day two of not listening to the White House press conference. I will catch up on Twitter later. After watching it for the past two weeks, I know that the idiotic things that reporters are sharing are, in fact, accurate depictions of what “he who must not be named” says, and therefore not useful to my success in this fight. We watched some Andy B on the YouTube (his memes are as encouraging as he is) and I ate an ice-cream sandwich for dinner, courtesy of my wife who continues to make it to work every day in spite of this madness. They have been taking her temperature every day and they just started wearing masks today. When she gets home, I ask if everyone made it through. She is a healthcare hero right now. It is pretty hot.
Homework: Stay inside (and wash your hands and do your stretches)!!!
Please do your best to stay in the house. When you go out, don’t touch anyone. Don’t touch your face. Wash your hands when you get back home. I know so many of us still have to be out in the world, so every interaction that does not need to happen is a win for all of us. Take care of yourself. You might not be able to see a doctor right now. Brush and floss. Do your stretches. Stay healthy at home! Just remember the voice of Andy Beshear, when you are thinking about going somewhere that could be avoided: “You can’t be doing that!”
Empty shopping mall parking lot. Newport, KY (March, 2020)
I am not going to lie: the last several weeks have been super heavy. Things have peaked with plumbing issues, keeping the ducks safe and healthy, waiting on the closing date of a property we may or may not accrue, along with trying to coordinate our move away from Indiana. When someone talks about the walls closing in, I think I can finally relate. In the middle of it all, of the stress, anxiety, and worry, I keep finding rays of light to remind us of the good things in life.
We broke down the tipi last weekend and it is all ready to move home to the city. We were hoping to be able to move it to a new place and get the canvas all aired out, but we are not there yet, and don’t even know if we will be there, so it is all coming home to the city. Initially, we were pretty disappointed because we had hoped to only have to move the tipi once, but the universe has other plans.
One of my two amazing brothers and my amazing sister came out to help us take her down. It was so awesome to see the tipi in its bare state again with all of her bones exposed to the air. Surprisingly, it was actually pretty easy. Four people and two hours was about all we needed to get it all broken down and prepped for the move. We celebrated by having lunch at Jack’s Place on the way home. They make homemade carrot cake and peanut butter pie (which we snagged the last piece of).
We weighed our options between driving a truck ourself versus paying movers and we ended up settling on Two Men and a Truck, ordered a 26 footer, and called it a day. Let me tell you, it was worth it. Let’s look at a quick list of why:
Successfully pull up the steep, precarious driveway, without getting stuck in a ditch at the bottom, and get out without incident.
Pick up and move the picnic table
Move the cast iron wood stove
Successfully pull up our steep hill, park and unload said items above, and drive out of the neighborhood without hitting any cars.
Moving tipi poles alone, in order for us to get a smaller truck would have cost between 500-700 dollars.
The poles look pretty cozy in their new spot, and the things we moved into the city don’t feel at all overwhelming in terms of volume. The backyard shed is pretty full at the moment, and we have a very large pile of tipi canvass in our basement/family room, but it is ok. We have turned the page, officially. The sick feeling that I have had in my stomach for the last year, everytime we went there, is gone. That feeling would start towards the end of the ride to get there, until we unloaded everything and were settled at our spot, by the tipi. Whatever the origin of that feeling was, it does not matter. It was not serving a purpose to enrich our lives so it needed to end. And it feels so good.
Homework: Look at how full your glass is and enjoy it!
Now that we officially do not have to go back to Indiana, and have everything we own all in one place again, we are going to lean into the moment and regroup. Although we still have a lead on a house, we don’t know if we will be getting it. Instead of worrying about that unknown, we will focus on the home we have and enrich our life here as much as possible. We already have a list of projects we want to tackle, we have seeds growing for the spring, and are loving the extra time with the pets.
Here is a quick list of our Northern Kentucky projects:
Build privacy fence along one side of the backyard.
Redo kitchen sink and install a door between the bedroom and kitchen (contractor please!)
Pour a concrete pad for the basement bathtub.
Redo the basement bathroom area.
Epoxy the basement floor
Redo basement lighting
Tiny-house-ify the shed in the backyard?
Being back in one place feels right at the moment. In light of the whole mission of our lives to simplify and spend more time together, I think we are actually on to something! Yes, we are still excited about the prospect of the new property and have a ton of ideas about how to fit that into our mission. But this time in limbo has given us time to reset and refocus what we really want. The cabin was amazing, but once done with it, we would still be in the same place we are at now. We would not have an alternate source of income, except maybe Airbnb in the tipi, which never felt right anyhow in light of the situation with the other family living there.
That time spent was not a waste. We needed it to learn the skills that we will use in this next phase of life. We grew closer because of it all. Now we reset and keep pushing forward. We are counting our blessings. Yes, we have had a bit of disappointment in the last year or so. The true source of the “let-downs” is not failure. The only real reason we have had disappointment is because we took chances. If you never take any chances, you cannot fail and cannot be let down. We tried. And we will try again!
We are simplifying. We are Making Time for Tipi. Our glass is half full of lemonade and it tastes so good.
After we decided to move on from our Indiana life, we began looking around to see if there was any land within our financial reach that we could handle on our own. Having spotted a couple of places on the “interwebs” that looked promising, we inquired about the ones we found online. The realtor we were connected with was really awesome at explaining what may or may not work based on what we were looking for. One of the spots had a little cabin on it which coincidentally, was in almost the stage of build that our a-frame was in! Laura, our rep kindly let us know that the place it was in may not always be passable in inclement weather, and it was such a large plot of land that it might not be the best place for us, who would only be there on weekends. She said that it would be very likely that folks would wander through when we were gone. Thanks and no thanks!
Once we narrowed down the list, we set up an appointment to go look at a few of them. The first stop was to look at a house on a little more than acres of land. It was explained to us ahead of time that the place needed some work. I was expecting the worst and totally did not want to get my hopes up since both the price and the location seemed perfect. Surely, it would not be what we wanted, but it seemed like a great starting spot.
The Farmhouse
About a week later, on my birthday, we took the hour and a half ride down the AA highway in Kentucky to take a look. It was a drizzly morning, but pretty warm for mid-December. It was apparent from the landscape that were in Kentucky. The hills and rushing streams escorted us the entire way there. Our first glimpse of the property included a short ride up the perfectly level gravel driveway- a far cry from the steep, choppy driveway that we had to navigate each time we went to the cabin.. It was a dream! The house was white with a green metal roof- probably the same roofing material that we used on the cabin. Was this a sign? Once inside the house, we could see the remnants of years of history. Wallpaper and paneling lined the walls, old encyclopedias were stashed in the corner of one of the rooms and an old farmhouse staircase led to the upstairs.
Nestled on a touch over four acres, the property lines were defined by an old railroad track on one side and a rushing creek along an open field on the other. There was a barn with electric and water in addition to a mobile home and a couple of other “out” buildings.
We had the pleasure of meeting the son of the previous owners, who had passed away not too long ago, but who had lived into their nineties. He shared stories about growing up there and how they used to farm tobacco in the open field. His dad raised pigs in the barn. The feelings and memories were warm.
After the tour, our realtor took us to see some other properties in the area, based on what we were looking for. We saw some beautiful acreage with some spectacular views and they all had the ability to add electric and water pretty easily. One of the properties even had an old log cabin upon it, which had been discovered when the owner started demoing the house. The wood, by our realtor’s account isn’t even around anymore; it is extinct! There was even an old stone fireplace with arrowheads embedded in the facade.
All of the properties had no restrictions, meaning that we would be free to build, say, another a-frame cabin or put an amish barn on them. They all had a minimum purchase of about 10 acres and had a nice mix of woods and open field. We went home with a top three but the farmhouse was the one that spoke the loudest, and in fact is still on center stage right now. We made an offer!
Homework: Keep Moving Forward
Be ready to turn the page. You need something to look forward to. Life is to short to mull over the past. Learn from it, but then move on.
After we got home from looking at all of the different properties, all we could talk about was all of the things we could do at the farmhouse. We could plant flowers, grow vegetables, host events, and do Airbnb. We can bring the cats, like right away if we get it! There is plenty of room for or family to sleep there with us when they come to visit. The list just goes on and on! Leaving the cabin was a hard choice to make, but having a plan for the future that we can visualize is what really gets me excited!
Keep searching for those things that make you want to get up in the morning. Those goals are the ones that get you through a hard day at work or help you face a difficult situation that you would otherwise avoid. Currently in this holding pattern, it has been hard getting through some recent weekends when I am missing working on challenging projects. To help me along, I ordered some seeds that I will plant at the new place and we have been dreaming up a storm about the things we can do at our little farm, if we get it. That, my friends, is what got me up this morning. Stay tuned!
We spent a weekend in Las Vegas not too long ago and it was ah-ma-zing! The hotel we stayed at was Mandalay Bay in a gorgeous room. For thirty bucks a piece we scored a day pass in their beautiful spa. Call me sheltered, naive, or uncultured, but in my opinion, it was magical. You got a giant robe and sandals to wear while visiting, along with a locker and all of the towels you could want. There were greek or roman looking fountains spilling into hot tubs and a cold tub at the center of the spa, all surrounded by lounge chairs. We spent our time going between the dry heat room and the eucalyptus steam room, then to the cold pool to bring it all together.
We went once in the morning to have a coffee and a sweat, then again before they closed after a day on the strip. It was perfect.
Spa lobby, no cameras allowed inside!
We did not gamble that much, but threw a few dollars into some video poker, keno, and a Goonies movie themed slot machine, which at least gave you some extra steps to complete in between spins to extend your money a little bit.
I ate some of the most delicious macaroni and cheese from the hotel room service menu and we left a half eaten plate of shoestring french fries because we could not finish them all! What happens in Vegas… Our last stop of the night was to surprise some friends who got married that weekend at their hotel. We took the bus to Circus Circus, gave them a hug, then headed back to our hotel only to miss our stop and walk a mile back after getting to see the Welcome to Vegas sign.
Perriee is the absolute best travel buddy I could ever dream to have. We just have so much fun together everywhere we go. I know that anything that life deals out is automatically going to be easier and better if she is there to share it with.
Saying that, I can now share that we are going to be leaving our spot where the a-frame cabin is standing. Over the last year, it has become clear that although the exact spot where the cabin sits along with the tipi is absolutely magical, it is not the land that shines, but our energy when we are there together. When we have thought about our future there and the things we want to do there, we have had some difficulty envisioning it in alignment with the what the other family might want to do in the future.
We started poking around on the internet and have found that it might even be possible for us to find our own place. I had not even considered that as a possibility since we started this journey over two years ago. Because of that, we are moving on. We were at a point where we could invest a good amount of time and money into the cabin, but decided to first talk with the group about some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind for a long time now. I have not mustered the courage to bring it up until now. Once the words were out it was clear what the best move should be, and it is, which is to leave. We are all adults and have found ourselves to be different in ways that just won’t mesh as a lifestyle and it is ok. It is neither good nor bad. We are different and are all mature enough to recognize it. Things are a little raw at the moment, but I truly am looking forward to watching us all grow from this, even if it just through an Instagram post. I know Perriee and I feel a great sense of relief over it and I hope everyone else does too.
We don’t have any regrets. Our time there has brought us so much. It has been one, very long, team building session for the two of us and we have emerged stronger from it all. And it is not ending! We are still Making Time for Tipi. That is not ending. In fact, it is very active as I sit here writing this post right now. We can’t wait to take you on the next leg of the journey.
Homework
Trust Your Gut: Over the last couple of years I have found myself in some situations which were uncomfortable to me. I am working on building up the courage to speak up for myself so eventually I was able to get out of them. The real practice is to have the ability to not get into those situations in the first place.
As a child, I was constantly reminded to suck it up and deal with the situation at hand, no matter how uncomfortable it may have been. My childhood was a bit of a roller coaster so I mastered the art of “grin and bear it” amidst some pretty heavy stuff. At the time, that was super useful. I was a kid and had little control over decisions that were made on my behalf so a good survival technique was to make the most of a bad situation and keep pushing forward.
In my new found forties (42 now, thank you very much), I am realizing that as an independent adult, I don’t have to just “go along” with things that I can literally feel eating away at my gut. I need to recognize that feeling early on and learn to say, “no” with intent. For those situations that I miss the signs, it is imperative that I face the discomfort head on, and move away from it as soon as possible. That is so hard for me!!
Life is too short to waste on negativity that is doomed to persist. Whether it is a toxic person, relationship, environment, or whatever, we need to be able to see that some things will not change no matter what. That takes courage to do and is super scary for people like me. Hopefully a lot of you don’t have this courage deficit that I have. If you do, just practice. Put yourself first. Know that the feeling of the freedom from that toxicity in your life is so much better than the feeling of marinating in it. Save yourself!
As 2019 comes to a close, I can say that I feel pretty good about how it ended. Last year on New Year’s Eve I made a promise to myself to have more confidence. Good job me. Leaving the partnership with our friends where our spot is, Camp Good Enough, was one of the most difficult things that I have ever done but it has already opened up a space for better things and I am proud of that.
I don’t know what lies ahead, but I will make sure it is interesting. Happy New Year everyone! Happy new decade!
You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em
Know when to walk away and know when to run
You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealing’s done
Making Time for Tipi 